Love Bombing
"being in high school I ignorantly agreed and was a victim of the infamous love bombing. I remember I was made fun of at school for being a part of a cult and I stood up for xenos saying there was no way it was a cult. I was in it for two years and during my third year I was coming and going."
"We became really close friends despite that (love bombing at work and she was an expert). I really thought she cared for me as she stopped harassing me to join. Then I swear when she stopped, others started. I swear almost every time I came to hang out a different person was asking me to join and bringing up god despite being irrelevant to the conversation. Why didn't I just stop hanging out with them you ask? As I mentioned earlier, I didn't really have friends as I was struggling to make some as a transplant. Plus, I got along with them and they loved my company. Or so I thought."
"I want to leave so bad. I just don't know how. Xenos is great for coming into a relationship with Christ, without joining, I never would have had a personal relationship with him.,,,but when it comes to this "second decision" crap, that's when I agree with everyone about the "love bombing" acts dispersing and tension rising so they can form you to be the person they want you to be. It should be your own decision, and on YOUR OWN TIMING on whether or not you want to be a leader, not pressure. ALSO, a personal relationship with God should be PERSONAL. I would love to share with people about my time with God, but I can't because I know I will get judged or asked a million of the same questions by different people because they've totally talked about me with each other behind my back and how they want to share the same passage of truth. I was also asked to take a leadership course. I told them I wasn't ready, but by saying that they said I was rejecting God and thought there was a weird alternative of why I wasn't wanting to take it so soon. They really do wanna get you wrapped up ASAP."
"I was a member of Xenos for over 16 years. I was in leadership and have led ministry houses, home churches and cell groups. What you’ve read about the tactics, manipulation, Love bombing and shaming is all true. I fell for it all. I gave this cult my most formidable years. I’m in my 40s now with no college degree, no friends and no self esteem. I spend most days in regret because of it all. Please spare yourself the damage this place can do. Get out."
"While single, I was questioned many times about sex with my boyfriend and it was like an obsession with them. When engaged, it was the same. We never answered them. The church was known to kick people out for having sex before marriage but yet would not address the drunkenness at homechurch or the gossiping. Everyone knew your business which is why I would never allow myself to be "vulnerable" and disclose all of my personal life. The home church leaders report up to their sphere leaders and share everyone's business. Love bombing is real and It is creepy. This was my experience and very similar to other people I know. This church does do good, the Central Teachings are stellar, especially if you get Gary Delashmutt and I do hear that there are some good home churches there despite the senior leadership. Just beware."
"To have a bible reading with the girls in the house but, later that night we went to the boys house. I met all the guys of the house and something didn’t feel right. So like any teenager would do, I found an “adult” I told my leader I was uncomfortable and wanted to get some air, she said “ok I’ll be right back wait on the porch”. So I went outside and waited (mind you I’m 16) she never came outside but instead she sent one to the guys of the house to walk with me. I didn’t want to go so we sat on the porch and he tried questioning me. I went back inside asking the leader if she could take me home and she refused. Later that night all the girls in the house started telling me I needed to date the guy that was in the boys house. I told them no because I was 16 and he was like 26. After I told them no I was ignored for the rest of the night... but long story short I was treated like a piece of meat and after the love bombing didn’t work I was completely shut out and called a skank and whore. Fast forward senior year.. my “best friend” (the one that got me to attend Xenos) completely shut me out, she wouldn’t even make eye contact with me in the hall. One minute her and I were inseparable and then after the incident at college connections night it was like I was nothing. Everything was a lie and a bribe. A lot more happened but I never reported any of it because I was brainwashed into thinking what happened was normal.. my senior year was the hardest and I felt so alone and shut out. But now that I’ve graduated I want to speak out and warn everyone Xenos is not your everyday church.. it’s a cult and they will lead you to think it’s a church but it’s not and the parents who force their kids to Go there are just as guilty as the leaders at Xenos. Parents need to listen to their kids because sometimes we aren’t over reacting. Xenos made Me Suicidal and I was put on several medications..I will never forget what it felt like to be sexually harassed... I will never forget what it feels like to be back stabbed and used.. I will never forget what Xenos did to me."
"Although I wasn’t in the group for a long time, for the few months that I was I knew something was off. I experienced the love bombing and it sent chills down the back of my mind. I had no idea why something so “positive” made me feel uneasy. Once the leaders started talking to me there were somewhere I felt okay with and could trust. But some seemed to get too close and cross the personal space line without asking. I didn’t ask to be touched by strangers I just met."
"I used to hang out with a bunch of them for an entire summer, so I saw a lot of stuff, and it all resonates with the stories posted here. Love bombing, pushing to get you into the house, making things look super fun."
"My son wanted to kill himself after leaving Xenos. He was a member for 2 years. He lived in a ministry house the second year. Xenos installed surveillance software on his laptop and phone that tracked every keystroke and website visited. His leader would him to justify websites he'd visited. His leader also encouraged him to drop out of college so he'd have more time for ministry activities. He did drop out and spent all day every day doing Xenos activities. When he started to catch on to how controlling Xenos is, his leader told him that If he left Xenos then god would hate him. It took him months to make the decision to finally move out of the ministry house and quit Xenos. When he did, he was completely shunned. All of his Xenos 'friends' refused to talk to him. They went from lovebombing to completely shunning him. It really messed up his mind and ruined his confidence. It's been almost 3 years, he's back in college and has new friends, but he's still very distrustful of people. He thinks friends are only nice to him because they want something and that they'll shun him if he doesn't make them happy. His depression when he left Xenos was devastating."
"I joined xenos for a few months during my sophomore year of high school. I was already religious and attending a church with my family regularly, but my close friend from school/band invited me so I decided to go. I have read all of the other stories about their “love-bombing” technique, and it is very real and they for sure used it with me."